[ it's a terrible decision. an awful one. even if they tell themselves, promise themselves that it won't change a thing between them, that's a blatant lie isn't it? there's no going back to being just lab partners, the both of them know that. but also, there's no turning back. Jayce walks in the door, and Viktor looks like he's ready to devour the man. ]
Like shit, I know.
[ Viktor runs a hand through his hair, before reaching for his crutch propped against the countertop. ] Had this not been something so ... spur of the moment, I would've gussied myself up for you.
[ it takes him a moment. gathering up some nerve. some courage empowered by the drink. and he pries himself away from the counter, a few cautious steps forward. Viktor knows what he wants. he's been sure of that for a long time. what about Jayce? ]
I was going to say "so damned pretty" but okay. [he'd known, logically, that Viktor has a slender build, that much is obvious even through the layers of clothing he favours. but here, like this, with his shoulder exposed along with his collarbone, and gods his neck --
right, Viktor's talking to him.] I'm braced to the door because I almost fell over when I saw you. If this is you normally, I'm not certain I could handle "gussied up".
[ --Viktor almost coughs, but manages to cover it up, clearing his throat and averting his gaze. that's not fair. he can feel his face heating up. this is just supposed to be ... just something inconsequential, stress release, scratching that itch. Jayce isn't supposed to be all sweet on him. ]
Jayce, please. [ mumbled, awkward. his hand moves to the back of his neck. this is stupid. he's not pretty. Jayce doesn't have to do that. ] You don't have to do that.
Would I be here if I didn't think so. [he pushes off the door, finally, and takes a few steps towards Viktor. starting to close the distance, but stopping shy of doing so completely.]
I did say I liked delicate features and a pushy personality. Who else would I be talking about?
[ in retrospect ... maybe Viktor should've figured that out. as much as he might scoff at the notion of being called delicate, it'd be hard for a more sober mind to argue the fact. delicate features don't necessarily mean fragile. Jayce knows better.
but now it's hitting him in the face. Jayce is looking at him so earnestly, impossible to call him out for bluffing. he's getting closer. Viktor's supposed to be the one calling the shots, and he can feel his composure slipping when Jayce is nearly within arm's reach. ]
Jayce. [ firm. as best he can manage. as much as he wants to just say fuck it and throw himself at the man. it shows in his eyes, in his voice, his shaky breaths. ]
For... [what is he here for? for Viktor, he knows that much. right now, his whole body aches to sink to his knees and bury his face against Viktor's stomach, or his thigh, or wherever his partner would let him. or fuck, he'd be happy to just kneel for him, even if he couldn't touch.
this is dangerous. this is more than just scratching an itch and he knows that. but maybe it's not what Viktor wants, so he needs to take it easier. pull back, be more casual.
but what comes out in a rush of breath is -- ] For whatever you want me for.
[ a dangerous game, that. for both of them. whatever you want me for.
how truthful should he be? should he tell Jayce about all the men (it's a far smaller number than he's making it seem, but the point remains,) who had similar enough features that for a night, he could pretend? why he kept persisting with his unhealthy habits because he knew he would never have what he truly wanted? and here that man is, for whatever Viktor wants him for.
it's ridiculous. he could laugh. Viktor just barely refrains. ]
Come here. [ he beckons Jayce closer with a finger. they may as well start somewhere. ]
[as if he could resist Viktor's voice wrapped around those words, the finger seals the deal. almost in a trance, he moves to stand more directly in front of Viktor. close enough to see the rise and fall of his chest, the way his lips are parted just slightly.
Jayce's eyes flick from from Viktor's slender frame up to his mouth, and finally his eyes. his own heart is racing, but they should establish some parameters here. beyond the details they were pretending weren't about each other in their conversation that somehow lead here.]
[ Janna, he has this man wrapped around his finger tonight, doesn't he? the corner of his lips curls upward, just for a moment, a brief hint of a smirk. he really would follow any command, won't he? that kind of power over one person could be dangerous.
probably a good thing Viktor's been drinking, then. he's not on his A-game. ]
Good. [ no touching unless told to. it's a start. Viktor's gaze roams up and down, admiring the view. his lab partner, near panting and needy, and they haven't even started yet. ]
You said you wanted to be pushed around for a few hours. [ emphasis on hours. ] Is that still true?
[ if Viktor's being honest, hours might be pushing it a bit on his end, too. but if he was fully sober, he probably wouldn't have answered those messages the way he did. maybe Jayce will call his bluff, maybe he won't. he may as well see how far this goes. ]
You're certain? [ Viktor steps just the slightest bit closer, tilting his head up, meeting Jayce's eyes. he watches him for a long moment. all the things he could have this man do. for hours. ]
Have you ever done something like this before? [ not so much trying to determine Jayce's general experience, but with this. specific. experience. he leans on his crutch, keeping a close eye on the man before him. the way he breathes. ]
It's been a while, but I was with someone a few years ago. We had a handful of nights like that. [his gaze right now keeps flicking between Viktor's eyes and his mouth. his partner's gaze feels heavy, tangible in the way he watches him and mercy but is Jayce here for it.
his breathing, too, is heavy. practically panting at just the idea that Viktor might want something like this with him. the idea that Viktor, at least for tonight, would lead him and guide him to do... whatever it is Viktor wants, really.]
[ there's a brief moment, a split second where Viktor thinks to himself, how dare you. but it is a fleeting thing. and it helps actually, at least a little, to know that Jayce isn't walking into this blind. it means he knows what he wants. and that's all Viktor needs to know. ]
Good.
[ Viktor gives him another hungry look over, before grasping his crutch, beckoning the other man with a finger to follow. he makes his way to the couch - small, cheap, not the most luxurious but it's clearly been crashed on plenty of times. ]
[it was before he'd met Viktor, and therefore it didn't count. right? most things in jayce's head these days are organized into pre or post-meeting Viktor, anyway.
but he sits, doing his best just to breathe. hands resting on his knees until told otherwise. that beckoning finger may well be the end of him after this, but gods it will be worth it]
[ if anything, it simply presents Viktor with a challenge. one he's all the more keen to succeed at. if Jayce has done this with another partner before, then Viktor simply needs to make him forget all about them. he's fairly confident.
he waits until Jayce makes himself comfortable. Viktor's gaze roams over him, examining the sweat on his brow, the heaving of his chest. he steps closer, using the end of his crutch to tap Jayce's feet and nudge them apart, until there's enough room for him to stand between them. ]
... [ he pinches the bridge of his nose ] Unfortunately for you, hours is a bit beyond my current capability. [ he shakes his head, clearing his thoughts. he really should be sober for this. but that just makes it more of a challenge, he thinks. ]
But you want to be pushed around, and you will be. [ he adjusts his hold on his crutch to reach under Jayce's chin with the handle, tipping his head upwards just so. ] I'm not cruel. Not sadistic. I won't do anything you don't want me to. You listen to me, follow my directions, and you'll be rewarded. Understood?
We can always try for longer, next time. [because Viktor is already an addiction. his time, his presence, the feeling of him under Jayce's hand whenever he reaches for a shoulder or to touch his back. he knows, with absolute certainty, that he won't be able to confine whatever this is to only tonight, regardless of what label they put on it.
but he nods -- and then Viktor tips his head back with the handle of his crutch and Jayce's toes curl in his shoes and he nearly stops breathing.] Understood.
[ next time? Viktor's brow arches, how curious. no, he's not expecting this to be anything more than a one-time thing. they're lab partners, and friends. if they make a habit out of ... whatever this is, things between them would change too much. the longer Viktor denies it would ever be anything more than this, the easier it is to believe. ]
Good boy.
[ he brings his crutch back, observes for a moment more. burning the image to memory, just in case. ]
[the sound that Jayce makes when Viktor gives him the good boy can only be described as wounded. something shattered and trembling, eyes wide and lips wet as he reaches down to pull his shirt off and set it next to him on the couch.
sweet mercy, how often had he envisioned exactly this scenario in his bed alone at night? too many times to count.]
[ interesting. it doesn't take much, and Jayce is already so needy. it's quite the image before him, making all the times he'd thought about something like this late at night with his hand shoved down his shorts tame in comparison. ]
Good. [ seems praise for any order followed is going to help things along. Viktor turns just slightly to one side, braced leg forward. testing Jayce's restraint. ] Take this off, too.
[there's an urge, certainly, to rest his forehead against Viktor's knee just now. or to soothe all the skin the brace has covered in kisses and tender touches as he removes it, but that's not what he was told to do.
so, biting his lip a little in concentration, he works at buckles and straps, delicately unwrapping Viktor's leg and setting the brace gently aside, as well. that done, he glances up at Viktor again, expression seeking approval.]
[ he does picture it, those large hands roaming over his skin, lips trailing across reddened marks wrapped around him, laying back and being so tenderly revered and worshipped. but that can be later. for now, it was more of a test of Jayce's restraint, and Viktor's proud of him for passing. ]
Good boy. [ more praise, since it's so effective. Viktor sets his crutch aside by his brace, movements only slightly off-kilter, courage fueled by the alcohol running through his veins as he slips down and settles comfortably in Jayce's lap, knees at either side of his hips. ]
Palms on the couch. [ uttered softly as both his hands reach up and cup Jayce's face, tilting his head back. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Like shit, I know.
[ Viktor runs a hand through his hair, before reaching for his crutch propped against the countertop. ] Had this not been something so ... spur of the moment, I would've gussied myself up for you.
[ it takes him a moment. gathering up some nerve. some courage empowered by the drink. and he pries himself away from the counter, a few cautious steps forward. Viktor knows what he wants. he's been sure of that for a long time. what about Jayce? ]
Are you stuck to the door?
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right, Viktor's talking to him.] I'm braced to the door because I almost fell over when I saw you. If this is you normally, I'm not certain I could handle "gussied up".
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Jayce, please. [ mumbled, awkward. his hand moves to the back of his neck. this is stupid. he's not pretty. Jayce doesn't have to do that. ] You don't have to do that.
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I did say I liked delicate features and a pushy personality. Who else would I be talking about?
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but now it's hitting him in the face. Jayce is looking at him so earnestly, impossible to call him out for bluffing. he's getting closer. Viktor's supposed to be the one calling the shots, and he can feel his composure slipping when Jayce is nearly within arm's reach. ]
Jayce. [ firm. as best he can manage. as much as he wants to just say fuck it and throw himself at the man. it shows in his eyes, in his voice, his shaky breaths. ]
What are you here for?
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this is dangerous. this is more than just scratching an itch and he knows that. but maybe it's not what Viktor wants, so he needs to take it easier. pull back, be more casual.
but what comes out in a rush of breath is -- ] For whatever you want me for.
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how truthful should he be? should he tell Jayce about all the men (it's a far smaller number than he's making it seem, but the point remains,) who had similar enough features that for a night, he could pretend? why he kept persisting with his unhealthy habits because he knew he would never have what he truly wanted? and here that man is, for whatever Viktor wants him for.
it's ridiculous. he could laugh. Viktor just barely refrains. ]
Come here. [ he beckons Jayce closer with a finger. they may as well start somewhere. ]
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Jayce's eyes flick from from Viktor's slender frame up to his mouth, and finally his eyes. his own heart is racing, but they should establish some parameters here. beyond the details they were pretending weren't about each other in their conversation that somehow lead here.]
I won't touch unless you tell me to.
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probably a good thing Viktor's been drinking, then. he's not on his A-game. ]
Good. [ no touching unless told to. it's a start. Viktor's gaze roams up and down, admiring the view. his lab partner, near panting and needy, and they haven't even started yet. ]
You said you wanted to be pushed around for a few hours. [ emphasis on hours. ] Is that still true?
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but especially now, with Viktor's almost molten gaze burning into him, and he nods. "hours" might be overestimating his stamina, but gods he wants.]
Yes. Please.
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You're certain? [ Viktor steps just the slightest bit closer, tilting his head up, meeting Jayce's eyes. he watches him for a long moment. all the things he could have this man do. for hours. ]
Have you ever done something like this before? [ not so much trying to determine Jayce's general experience, but with this. specific. experience. he leans on his crutch, keeping a close eye on the man before him. the way he breathes. ]
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his breathing, too, is heavy. practically panting at just the idea that Viktor might want something like this with him. the idea that Viktor, at least for tonight, would lead him and guide him to do... whatever it is Viktor wants, really.]
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Good.
[ Viktor gives him another hungry look over, before grasping his crutch, beckoning the other man with a finger to follow. he makes his way to the couch - small, cheap, not the most luxurious but it's clearly been crashed on plenty of times. ]
Sit.
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but he sits, doing his best just to breathe. hands resting on his knees until told otherwise. that beckoning finger may well be the end of him after this, but gods it will be worth it]
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he waits until Jayce makes himself comfortable. Viktor's gaze roams over him, examining the sweat on his brow, the heaving of his chest. he steps closer, using the end of his crutch to tap Jayce's feet and nudge them apart, until there's enough room for him to stand between them. ]
... [ he pinches the bridge of his nose ] Unfortunately for you, hours is a bit beyond my current capability. [ he shakes his head, clearing his thoughts. he really should be sober for this. but that just makes it more of a challenge, he thinks. ]
But you want to be pushed around, and you will be. [ he adjusts his hold on his crutch to reach under Jayce's chin with the handle, tipping his head upwards just so. ] I'm not cruel. Not sadistic. I won't do anything you don't want me to. You listen to me, follow my directions, and you'll be rewarded. Understood?
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but he nods -- and then Viktor tips his head back with the handle of his crutch and Jayce's toes curl in his shoes and he nearly stops breathing.] Understood.
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Good boy.
[ he brings his crutch back, observes for a moment more. burning the image to memory, just in case. ]
Take your shirt off.
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sweet mercy, how often had he envisioned exactly this scenario in his bed alone at night? too many times to count.]
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Good. [ seems praise for any order followed is going to help things along. Viktor turns just slightly to one side, braced leg forward. testing Jayce's restraint. ] Take this off, too.
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so, biting his lip a little in concentration, he works at buckles and straps, delicately unwrapping Viktor's leg and setting the brace gently aside, as well. that done, he glances up at Viktor again, expression seeking approval.]
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Good boy. [ more praise, since it's so effective. Viktor sets his crutch aside by his brace, movements only slightly off-kilter, courage fueled by the alcohol running through his veins as he slips down and settles comfortably in Jayce's lap, knees at either side of his hips. ]
Palms on the couch. [ uttered softly as both his hands reach up and cup Jayce's face, tilting his head back. ]
And you can't kiss me. Understood?