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[boyofprogress]

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𝐕𝐎𝐈𝐂𝐄 ★ 𝐕𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐎 ★ 𝐓𝐄𝐗𝐓 ★ 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

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[hexcrafter]

... [Viktor didn't answer right away, his other hand resting idly on Rio's back as she made a noise somewhere between trilling and purring.]

I know. And I do not want to see that change. I have kept things to myself because I can not stand the idea of anyone thinking I am some helpless, miserable thing. What little self-sufficience I still possess is something important to me, and I do not need you or anyone else thinking me utterly incapable.

[Viktor paused, a thought occurring to him for not the first time. He'd spoken of it on Jayce's first night here, but only briefly--the tangle of complicated emotions was one he didn't really want to navigate. And he definitely didn't want to think about who must have been the one to find him that night in the lab.]

...That being said...I acknowledge I should have been more honest with you a long time ago. Before it came to a matter of waking up in the hospital.

[boyofprogress]

Hey... [It takes a little effort, and there's a wince or two, but Jayce lowers himself to sit on the deck next to Viktor. Wanting to have this conversation on the same level as him, physically.] If I've ever done anything that made you feel incapable, I apologize. That's never been my intention.

I've only ever offered to help you because I feel helpless. Not because I think you are.

[hexcrafter]

...I know. [He reached out to put a hand on Jayce's leg, idly working out some tension in slow and precise motions.] Helping people is in your nature. I have never disliked your efforts, it is...simply a difficult thing to accept, for me.

[boyofprogress]

If it's too much, tell me. [Though what he means, what he feels, at times, is If I'm too much, tell me. Jayce Talis is a passionate person, and he feels things with his whole self. After a lifetime of being told to tone it down, he worries about overwhelming people.

He makes a quiet noise at the hand on his leg, laughing a little.] Honestly, I'm going to be relying on you a lot, while I get used to this. The brace, the cane or crutch if I end up with one. I want your help to update the brace, for sure.

[hexcrafter]

I would, if I found it too much. It is more a matter of...I just do not always know how to respond to it, and perhaps never have.

[The corner of Viktor's mouth twitched into a hint of a smile as Rio curled up behind him like a supportive amphibious cushion.]

...I do not mind that. We already designed mine together, so doing as much again will be easy. And...if you wanted to rely on me, I would like that as well.

[boyofprogress]

We have all the time in the world, for you to learn. For both of us to learn.

[Jayce lets out a quiet oof as Rio leaning against Viktor jostles them both, and he gives her tail a polite pat.] I know you said she's easy to care for, but I'll probably end up doing research about amphibians anyway. It's what I do, when I encounter something I'm unfamiliar with.

[hexcrafter]

...I suppose we could both benefit from a little research. I have a good idea of what she eats, but past that...well, I was only around nine or so at the time, so if I knew many further details I have surely forgotten as much.

[boyofprogress]

Once we get her settled, we could go over to the library, if you wanted? Make it a date. [With a smile, he kisses the end of Viktor's nose.]

[hexcrafter]

Stop that- [lightly shoving at Jayce's shoulder with a small smile.]

...I think that would be nice. First we will have to get your leg taken care of, and then we can approach the rest.

[boyofprogress]

I can't kiss my partner? Rio, can you believe that? No kissing allowed. [He gives the waverider a dramatic sigh and an eyeroll.]

Ah -- yes. We can get my leg looked at, first. Since we'll be doing some walking.

[hexcrafter]

[To which Rio, unamused, trilled with a wiggle of the scales running along her back.]

I am entirely serious, Jayce. You have been insistent upon my health for years, I should think it only right I am just as obnoxious.

[boyofprogress]

[He does somber at that a little, and presses a kiss to the top of Viktor's head in an attempt to reassure him.]

I know. And not being asked to join the rescue missions sort of drove that home for me. I need to take better care of myself, and my health. So I guess I can let you worry over me, while I adjust to this.

[hexcrafter]

I caution you that it will be frustrating--endlessly so, especially for someone like you who has known...comparatively few limitations up to now. But it will be alright. We are scientists; adjusting and adapting is in our nature.

[As cautiously as if he were testing limits, Viktor took one of Jayce's hands in both of his own.]

What I am trying to say is that...when you find those limitations as suddenly as crashing into a brick wall, you can allow yourself to be upset. Infuriated, with yourself or with the circumstances--it does not matter. I will be here, and I will understand.

[boyofprogress]

I promise I will. I'll try to remember all that, but I may need you to remind me, sometimes. [He watches their hands, instead of looking directly at Viktor, setting his other hand on top of them.]

I just also need you to remember that all the frustrations I feel with myself are never something I've felt towards you. The last thing I want is for you to see me angry and worry that that was the case.

[hexcrafter]

...I realize that. It is...different, when it is one's own problem. I would not-

[Viktor broke off that sentence and hesitated, like he wasn't sure he was prepared to be quite that open. His own eyes lowering but no less focused, he reluctantly continued:]

I would not consider you lesser for the things I despise about myself.

[boyofprogress]

[He could start again, listing all the things there are to love about Viktor. Lecture him about how he shouldn't despise himself like that, how there's nothing in him to hate.

But Viktor's heard all that from him before, and Jayce is starting to realize that repeating it isn't necessarily helpful. So instead, he presses a kiss to their joined hands.] Then we'll have to love each other enough to make up for all the things we hate about ourselves. Deal?

[hexcrafter]

[It would take more than repetition--this Viktor hadn't seen the definitive evidence within Jayce's memories, and as such could only assign those words the value they had on the surface. Which was to say that he knew they weren't a lie, merely that they were wrong. There was nothing of such value to be found when it came to Viktor himself, his failing and broken body an ashen frame of skin and bone. Imperfect, undesirable, weak.]

[He'd never been able to do anything but hate it, and that was not a perspective so easily swayed.]

...this, I can at least try.

[boyofprogress]

[The undesirable part, at least, Jayce is doing his level best to disprove. How beautiful he finds his partner, how badly he wants to be near him. He's started sleeping wrapped up in Viktor more purposefully down.]

That's all I can ask, really. Should we try to stand? [He may not have thought this through, both of them being on the ground like this.] I can try to get up first, and you can use me as leverage.

[hexcrafter]

I can stand just fine without you straining yourself. Rio, come here-

[Viktor carefully pulled himself to unsteady feet, an oft-practiced motion of finding leverage on his crutch with the added help of steadying his other hand on the waverider's back. Wobbling a little from having been on the floor for so long, but finding his footing as he extended a hand.]

Just do try not to knock me over. I will be quite annoyed.

[boyofprogress]

Don't be silly, I weigh twice as much as you. Just let me borrow your cane for a second, and I can manage. I think. [And he's fairly certain Rio doesn't want him leaning on her]

[hexcrafter]

My arms are the only part of me with any actual strength, I would not offer if I thought it foolishness. [Gesturing for Jayce to take his hand, Viktor adjusted the other on his crutch to make sure his own support was solid.] Do not move like you are pulling yourself up, but rather push downward as you get your legs back under you A matter of leverage, not direct force.

Trust me. Even if it does not work, I promise to only be upset for...hm, thirty seconds.

[boyofprogress]

Thirty seconds? Very generous, thank you. [The gesture is slightly reluctant, but he does take Viktor's hand, focusing his energy on pushing down with his good leg to get both feet back underneath him.

He's a little wobbly when he stands, but he manages, patting Viktor's shoulder in gratitude as he does.] Thanks, Vik. It'll be easier as I get more used to it.

[hexcrafter]

[True to his word, Viktor's arm was surprisingly stable--not particularly strong by any metric but his own, though years of using a cane had built up something at least. Enough that he could keep himself steady while Jayce straightened himself out, with some effort.]

It will. You just need time and practice, that's all.

[boyofprogress]

Oh, uh. Hm. [He runs a hand through his hair, regarding the waverider with a thoughtful frown.] Does Rio want to come with us, to the hospital? Or is she okay here. I could bring her one of the plants to munch on as a snack.

[hexcrafter]

...I think she will be fine on her own? [Frowning in thought, he looked to the owlishly blinking amphibian.] I do not know how often my...acquaintance left her to her own devices, but she should be alright for a little while.