[After the rain finally stopped, Viktor dared to poke his head out the door to ascertain the situation--admittedly strange though it was.]
Remarkable. Everything looks like a mess, of course, but the skies are clear. I told you everything would be fine.
[Closing the door again, Viktor took a step towards the kitchen.]
I'll start making breakfast, then we can see about taking down the window shutters at the very least. A little natural light would help all the plants I had to take inside.
[As soon as he'd stepped away, there was a peculiar thump out on the deck. Probably a fallen branch. But maybe worth investigating.]
You did. [Jayce presses a kiss to Viktor's cheek as he joins him at the door to peek outside, and then Viktor's moving past him into the kitchen, and Jayce watches him with a disgustingly fond smile.] And you were right as always.
I'm glad we managed to get the plants inside, even if it made it a bit of a forest in here. I'll get the ladder back out after breakfast and we can de-shutter the windows. Are the plants living inside now?
[Though his question is cut off by the odd thump outside.] ... did you hear that?
[Sure enough, trundling her way around the deck and sniffing around like a curious dog was an enormous waverider. Who squinted gigantic eyes at Jayce almost as if in suspicion. Who the hell are you, sir.]
[Jayce waves a little, giving the waverider an awkward smile. Keeping an eye on it (him? her?) while he speaks over his shoulder to Viktor in the house.] Because there's a pretty big one exploring the deck.
[Viktor came outside as he answered, immediately trailing off at the sight like he'd seen a ghost. The waverider perked up the moment she caught sight of him, tail waving around eagerly.]
That's not...possible... [Breathless with honest-to-Janna shock, Viktor stepped forward and carefully held a hand out, which the giant amphibian headbutted into with a loud contented trill.] ...Rio?
[For a second, he didn't really seem to register Jayce had said anything; with a clattering of a dropped crutch Viktor ignored the ache in his leg and knelt down to put his arms around the wiggling waverider, who was very insistently nuzzling her enormous head against Viktor's. His breath hitched uncomfortably as he tried to speak, words coming out more than a little strained. Whatever he said first was nearly inaudible and in his own language, but sounded remarkably like an apology.]
[Viktor had always hated hospitals. It wasn't as if he was unaware of his worsening health or his failing body over the past years, the professional opinion of a doctor was hardly necessary to inform him of the obvious. Even the several surgeries over the years that left him with medical-grade steel in his leg and spine to hold up a useless frame were nothing but a temporary fix, another thing to detest about himself. But there was little choice now that his state itself was in some nebulous stasis; close monitoring was something even Viktor conceded was a necessity.]
[And as promised, for the sake of their collective peace of mind, he'd allowed Jayce to come with him this time--the whole affair one with deeply dismal results. An impossibly clear x-ray of a malformed leg and damaged spine full of metal, blood tests that came back positive for residual metals and chemicals, and scans of a respiratory system deeply damaged beyond repair. But, and the doctor they spoke to was careful to stress this part, there was not a single point of difference one way or the other between now and the months preceding. Impossibly, nothing had changed and nothing showed any signs of changing; frozen at a prognosis of several months that had already passed.]
[So, with all that said and done, they left together into the summer sunlight with a refreshed supply of painkillers and cough suppressants alongside...not quite optimism, but a lack of fatalism at the very least.]
I told you it was fine. Do you feel better about the issue now?
Um. [Seeing his own leg smashed to pieces had been hard, but somehow this? Every detail of Viktor's broken body laid out so plainly for him, quite literally in black and white, somehow felt worse.
It reminds him of when the core had fused to Viktor, that flash of light where he saw Viktor's shattered spine. This, at least, has a more hopeful outcome. Probably.
What bothered him most was there was nothing to be done about it. Perhaps nothing Viktor would allow him to do, other than adjust his brace as needed.
[Viktor had gotten used to seeing with clarity what he already knew to be the case; a miserably failing frame barely held together, constantly betraying its own functions. But because he was so used to it, the reality no longer registered as something to worry about more than necessary. Nothing had changed, he was still alive--that was enough. The subsequent pain, he was more than used to living with.]
[Hesitantly, he reached out with the hand not on his crutch to take Jayce's own; uncertain and plainly confused about the reaction.]
I just never really could picture it in my head. What was going on underneath everything. I got a glimpse after the explosion, but I never --
Janna's mercy, Viktor. [His shoulders sag with the weight of his sigh and he slides his fingers between Viktor's to try and hold more of his hand]
This is what it's been like the whole time? And I never saw -- [He cuts himself off, because this is an argument they've had before. Viktor didn't want him to see.]
... [He let their hands settle into place together, squeezing lightly.]
'The whole time' is a bit of an overstatement. It's worsened over the past few years, but such was to be expected. Most with similar conditions degenerate faster still.
So you're lucky, is what you're saying. To only have gotten to this point. [He's trying to focus on his breathing, on the cool touch of Viktor's palm against his.]
The numbers aren't... good. But they're not getting worse, right now. [He's more talking to himself than to Viktor. Trying to solidify those facts into his brain.]
That's exactly what I'm saying, yes. [Spoken in that simple matter-of-fact tone that was so incredibly Viktor even in the face of everything this was.]
Even a literal miracle was not going to make me anything resembling healthy. But apparently, it can do the next best thing.
It's just not something I'd ever considered. I'd never thought of you as unhealthy. You've always just been... you. The most brilliant mind and generous soul I've ever met.
[The evening had been rather nice. That was an understatement, even. They walked back together in slow steps and an easy tranquility, speaking on occasion of simple, mundane things--living, normally, in a way that had been difficult for both in the years prior.]
[...Many things were difficult, of course, and many things would continue to be. The door of the room in New Svihelen closed softly behind them, Viktor letting out a slow and carefully measured breath. (A little bit easier now, and a little bit more color had returned to his face as a result.)]
...I think I will see if there's any tea in the kitchen, that was a bit exhausting. [Speaking with the gentle care of someone who knew they were about to navigate a minefield:] You should go ahead and get comfortable. It will not take long.
[It really had been a lovely evening. He never thought he'd get to dance with Viktor, much less kiss him on the dancefloor, in front of a hundred other people who weren't bothered at all. And Viktor seemed less winded than he usually was, which puts Jayce at ease.
When they return, Viktor is offering tea and Jayce touches his shoulder lightly.] Sit? I'll make it. You put your leg up, I'll be with you in just a second. [He wants to have something to do with his hands while he thinks of where to start with his story.]
...alright. [He conceded much easier than usual--knowing Jayce was the kind whose restlessness was focused outward as opposed to Viktor keeping everything under lock and key. A gentle hand brushed the one on his shoulder as he turned, walking back towards the couch.]
Hey. [He catches Viktor's hand and squeezes it lightly before he moves away entirely.] Thank you. For everything. For your patience, and your understanding.
[He's reluctant to let go, but eventually does, moving over to put water in the kettle and start heating it. It feels like a goodbye, but he hopes it isn't. He hopes that Viktor's promises to listen and forgive him hold, but Jayce will understand if they can't.
When the tea is ready, he sits next to Viktor on the sofa, handing him is mug. Staring at his feet.] I think it's best to start a little after you remember. I don't think I'll be able to get through it all tonight, but we can start.
[He'd removed the outer brace on his leg while Jayce's back was turned, taking the granted time to focus on stopping his hands from shaking in nervous anticipation. There was no question in Viktor's mind that he would hold to his word no matter what he learned, but Janna be kind, what was he about to learn?]
Take it slowly. We can speak on as much or as little as you are willing to, Jayce. [For the moment, he set the mug down in favor of laying a thin hand on his forearm; watching silently for signs that Viktor might have to cut him off for long enough for his partner to collect himself.]
[The hand on his arm is greatly appreciated, and Jayce visibly relaxes at the touch, letting out a slow breath.]
Right. It was after you started using the Shimmer. I don't know -- I can't tell you if it worked, if it helped. I wish I could, but you played that close to the chest, which -- I understand. [No use regretting that now.] You were in the lab alone one night, and again you never really told me all the details, but --
[His fingers tighten around the mug a little, and he tries to take a calming sip.] Something happened with the Hexcore, that's all I know. A reaction to who knows what. An explosion, maybe. Sky was there. She -- Viktor she --
[The mug gets set down and he swallows hard, blinking back threatening tears]
[Viktor's hand went very still, but made no move to pull away.]
You mentioned before-...just briefly, but--are you saying-
[In the little bits and pieces he'd been told, Viktor vividly remembered a mention of something terrible happening to Sky. Now, with even that thin amount of further context, his blood was turning to ice and breath catching in his chest in a new and even more painful way. When he managed to choke out the end of the thought, his voice was painfully, wretchedly small:]
No -- [His hand rests on top of Viktor's and he shakes his head hard.] It's our fault. Yours and mine. The Hexcore was both of ours, and we pushed our experiments too hard, too fast. Don't you dare try to put that blame entirely on yourself. I could easily do that same, saying I should have been in the lab with you, that if I had been I could have prevented it. [Something he'd clearly wrestled with for a long time.]
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Remarkable. Everything looks like a mess, of course, but the skies are clear. I told you everything would be fine.
[Closing the door again, Viktor took a step towards the kitchen.]
I'll start making breakfast, then we can see about taking down the window shutters at the very least. A little natural light would help all the plants I had to take inside.
[As soon as he'd stepped away, there was a peculiar thump out on the deck. Probably a fallen branch. But maybe worth investigating.]
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I'm glad we managed to get the plants inside, even if it made it a bit of a forest in here. I'll get the ladder back out after breakfast and we can de-shutter the windows. Are the plants living inside now?
[Though his question is cut off by the odd thump outside.] ... did you hear that?
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[Hands busy with the coffee machine, he glanced up for a second.]
Something likely just fell onto the deck or a railing gave out, possibly. Would you mind taking a look?
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He steps outside to see what fell or fell apart and... pauses.] ... hey Viktor? Have you seen waveriders around the city, since you got here?
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[Sure enough, trundling her way around the deck and sniffing around like a curious dog was an enormous waverider. Who squinted gigantic eyes at Jayce almost as if in suspicion. Who the hell are you, sir.]
Nnnno? Why?
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Figured you'd want to know.
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[Viktor came outside as he answered, immediately trailing off at the sight like he'd seen a ghost. The waverider perked up the moment she caught sight of him, tail waving around eagerly.]
That's not...possible... [Breathless with honest-to-Janna shock, Viktor stepped forward and carefully held a hand out, which the giant amphibian headbutted into with a loud contented trill.] ...Rio?
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So Jayce hangs back a little, letting the two of them reunite and reconnect. Smiling at the shock but also joy in Viktor's expression.]
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...she's...an old friend of mine.
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[And as promised, for the sake of their collective peace of mind, he'd allowed Jayce to come with him this time--the whole affair one with deeply dismal results. An impossibly clear x-ray of a malformed leg and damaged spine full of metal, blood tests that came back positive for residual metals and chemicals, and scans of a respiratory system deeply damaged beyond repair. But, and the doctor they spoke to was careful to stress this part, there was not a single point of difference one way or the other between now and the months preceding. Impossibly, nothing had changed and nothing showed any signs of changing; frozen at a prognosis of several months that had already passed.]
[So, with all that said and done, they left together into the summer sunlight with a refreshed supply of painkillers and cough suppressants alongside...not quite optimism, but a lack of fatalism at the very least.]
I told you it was fine. Do you feel better about the issue now?
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It reminds him of when the core had fused to Viktor, that flash of light where he saw Viktor's shattered spine. This, at least, has a more hopeful outcome. Probably.
What bothered him most was there was nothing to be done about it. Perhaps nothing Viktor would allow him to do, other than adjust his brace as needed.
The same as ever.]
I don't know. [It's honest, at least.]
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[Viktor had gotten used to seeing with clarity what he already knew to be the case; a miserably failing frame barely held together, constantly betraying its own functions. But because he was so used to it, the reality no longer registered as something to worry about more than necessary. Nothing had changed, he was still alive--that was enough. The subsequent pain, he was more than used to living with.]
[Hesitantly, he reached out with the hand not on his crutch to take Jayce's own; uncertain and plainly confused about the reaction.]
What's wrong?
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Janna's mercy, Viktor. [His shoulders sag with the weight of his sigh and he slides his fingers between Viktor's to try and hold more of his hand]
This is what it's been like the whole time? And I never saw -- [He cuts himself off, because this is an argument they've had before. Viktor didn't want him to see.]
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'The whole time' is a bit of an overstatement. It's worsened over the past few years, but such was to be expected. Most with similar conditions degenerate faster still.
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The numbers aren't... good. But they're not getting worse, right now. [He's more talking to himself than to Viktor. Trying to solidify those facts into his brain.]
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Even a literal miracle was not going to make me anything resembling healthy. But apparently, it can do the next best thing.
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post-masquerade
[...Many things were difficult, of course, and many things would continue to be. The door of the room in New Svihelen closed softly behind them, Viktor letting out a slow and carefully measured breath. (A little bit easier now, and a little bit more color had returned to his face as a result.)]
...I think I will see if there's any tea in the kitchen, that was a bit exhausting. [Speaking with the gentle care of someone who knew they were about to navigate a minefield:] You should go ahead and get comfortable. It will not take long.
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When they return, Viktor is offering tea and Jayce touches his shoulder lightly.] Sit? I'll make it. You put your leg up, I'll be with you in just a second. [He wants to have something to do with his hands while he thinks of where to start with his story.]
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Take as long as you need to.
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[He's reluctant to let go, but eventually does, moving over to put water in the kettle and start heating it. It feels like a goodbye, but he hopes it isn't. He hopes that Viktor's promises to listen and forgive him hold, but Jayce will understand if they can't.
When the tea is ready, he sits next to Viktor on the sofa, handing him is mug. Staring at his feet.] I think it's best to start a little after you remember. I don't think I'll be able to get through it all tonight, but we can start.
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Take it slowly. We can speak on as much or as little as you are willing to, Jayce. [For the moment, he set the mug down in favor of laying a thin hand on his forearm; watching silently for signs that Viktor might have to cut him off for long enough for his partner to collect himself.]
I'm listening.
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Right. It was after you started using the Shimmer. I don't know -- I can't tell you if it worked, if it helped. I wish I could, but you played that close to the chest, which -- I understand. [No use regretting that now.] You were in the lab alone one night, and again you never really told me all the details, but --
[His fingers tighten around the mug a little, and he tries to take a calming sip.] Something happened with the Hexcore, that's all I know. A reaction to who knows what. An explosion, maybe. Sky was there. She -- Viktor she --
[The mug gets set down and he swallows hard, blinking back threatening tears]
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[Viktor's hand went very still, but made no move to pull away.]
You mentioned before-...just briefly, but--are you saying-
[In the little bits and pieces he'd been told, Viktor vividly remembered a mention of something terrible happening to Sky. Now, with even that thin amount of further context, his blood was turning to ice and breath catching in his chest in a new and even more painful way. When he managed to choke out the end of the thought, his voice was painfully, wretchedly small:]
...it was my fault?
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