[His laugh is a little rough, a little bit choked with unshed tears, but Viktor is in his lap and Jayce is holding him tight, and for now that's all he needs. Even if it all goes up in flames later, he can still have this moment.]
I should have fought harder then. I'll keep fighting for you, now that I know I have you. That we have each other, no matter what happens.
I think between us, and with the help of your friend, we can do great things here.
We both should have, do not shoulder the blame on your own. It will be alright, even if it should be difficult in getting there. We can try a little harder this time to support each other where we both need it. [He leaned his forehead against Jayce's, continuing to stroke his hair in an attempt at comfort.]
It will be good for both of us, I think, to work without so much external pressure. No Council to answer to, no investors to seek funding from--just you and I, working to help others.
It's what we've always wanted to do. [He leans happily into that touch, that bit of Zaunite affection, and squeezes Viktor all the tighter for it.]
It's what we should have been doing, but like you said -- gods, there were so many distractions. Having to fight someone every step of the way. I hope we don't have to struggle against that here, again.
I do not think we will. There is no such structure to this world as far as I can tell, and therefore the only people to decide what we will accomplish are ourselves.
[Viktor closed the small distance between them, punctuating that low and gentle assurance with a slow, lingering kiss.]
...we'll start over. All of it, from the beginning--we can do better this time.
[The noise he makes is the slightest bit surprised, but it soon melts into something content. Soft and pleased as he leans back against the couch, relaxing into it. After a moment, he tugs at Viktor's hip a little.] Turn? So you're not twisting. I need you closer.
[He didn't have to ask twice, Viktor shifting his position with a slight wince as he readjusted--straddling Jayce's lap, arms loosely wrapped around his neck.]
[And Jayce beams up at him in return, his eyes bright and his smile absolutely stupidly adoring. He sweeps his palms up Viktor's back, pressing a kiss to his chin, then to the freckle at the corner of his mouth.]
I don't tell you enough how pretty you are, Viktor. Mercy, you are the prettiest boy I've ever seen.
You are just flattering me. [The open affection was answered with a soft smile, edged with something almost forlorn.] And you do not have to. I am aware that I am not...particularly impressive, it is not necessary to say otherwise.
[And that gets a distressed look, his eyebrows pinching and tilting up. His hands still at Viktor's waist, and he presses a kiss to the freckle at Viktor's cheekbone.] Why would I need to flatter you?
Sweet Janna, Viktor, the amount of times I've gotten distracted by you in the lab? The way your hands look when you're being expressive, or the way the light catches your hair and turns it sort of caramel coloured.
...I wish I could believe that. [Viktor ducked his head, hiding his face under the pretense of brushing a feather-light kiss against his partner's neck.] But-...gods, you're perfect. Everything I wanted in every definition of the word. It would never have been possible to see myself as remarkable next to you.
Can I convince you? [He doesn't comment on his own perfection; it's a comment he'd heard a handful of times before, but had never really considered to be true. Instead he noses at the side of Viktor's face, one hand slipping between them to work at the buttons of his waistcoat so he can better feel the warmth of his partner's skin.]
[The answer was a little too sharp and insistent, like Jayce had just offered him water after months in a desert.]
...please. [His own hands started to wander, silently cursing the complexities of the formalwear Jayce looked so damn good in.] I've wanted this for years. I just-...never let myself hope you would want the same.
Me too, Vik. [His own hands are trembling a little as he carefully unpins the broach, not wanting to stick either of them, then works the cravat loose.] Gods, me too. I wasted so much time being foolish when I could have been kissing you. I intend to fix that, now that I'm sure you want it, too.
Sorry -- sorry. [He's laughing, a nervous and giddy thing, as he helps Viktor get rid of all his ornamentation and shrugs out of his very fancy jacket.] If I'm sure? Viktor, I just told you a few hours ago I had a hard time keeping my hands off you and I was worried you didn't want it. Of course I'm sure.
I feel the same. There's nothing I find undesirable about you, and I will spend every last breath I have helping you believe that. [Which might be a little dramatic, but, well. It's Jayce. And more importantly, it's Viktor.]
I'll do my best, but I make no promises. [Especially considering he'd finished with Viktor's waistcoat, and his fingers were working to untuck his shirt from his trousers.]
Did I tell you how pretty you looked tonight? I know I thought it a hundred times, but I don't remember if I ever said it out loud.
Mm, you might have. [Viktor paused long enough to take his partner's face in both hands, thumb stroking along one of the lines beneath his eyes worn in by strain and exhaustion--gentle, even reverent.]
Gods, look at you. Beautiful--you always have been.
[Jayce smiles, his expression a little dreamy, looking up at Viktor like an astronaut might look up at the stars. Something unearthly but still somehow their destiny.
And he happily leans into the touches, letting Viktor's thumbs soothe away the worry in his face.] Am I still?
Perhaps. [His smile and his laugh are both a little shy, and he reaches up to slide a hand into Viktor's hair as his partner dots him with kisses.] Gods, Viktor. I love you so damned much. Every time you look at me, I just feel... I don't even have words to put to it.
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I should have fought harder then. I'll keep fighting for you, now that I know I have you. That we have each other, no matter what happens.
I think between us, and with the help of your friend, we can do great things here.
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It will be good for both of us, I think, to work without so much external pressure. No Council to answer to, no investors to seek funding from--just you and I, working to help others.
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It's what we should have been doing, but like you said -- gods, there were so many distractions. Having to fight someone every step of the way. I hope we don't have to struggle against that here, again.
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[Viktor closed the small distance between them, punctuating that low and gentle assurance with a slow, lingering kiss.]
...we'll start over. All of it, from the beginning--we can do better this time.
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[Which he did, one hand tangling loosely in Jayce's hair as Viktor leaned in for another kiss. Gods, he might never get tired of this.]
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Better?
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I don't tell you enough how pretty you are, Viktor. Mercy, you are the prettiest boy I've ever seen.
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Sweet Janna, Viktor, the amount of times I've gotten distracted by you in the lab? The way your hands look when you're being expressive, or the way the light catches your hair and turns it sort of caramel coloured.
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[The answer was a little too sharp and insistent, like Jayce had just offered him water after months in a desert.]
...please. [His own hands started to wander, silently cursing the complexities of the formalwear Jayce looked so damn good in.] I've wanted this for years. I just-...never let myself hope you would want the same.
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It's fine--we've both been so stupid for so long. We can still--if you're sure I am what you want, then I'm yours.
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...okay. Okay. Then I will be abundantly clear from here on out: I absolutely want you. I always have.
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[Said like he wasn't working to unbutton that shirt at that very moment.]
...Maybe just a little carried away.
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Did I tell you how pretty you looked tonight? I know I thought it a hundred times, but I don't remember if I ever said it out loud.
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Gods, look at you. Beautiful--you always have been.
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And he happily leans into the touches, letting Viktor's thumbs soothe away the worry in his face.] Am I still?
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Perhaps I am not the only one needing convincing, hm?
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