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[boyofprogress]

ＩＮＢＯＸ

𝐕𝐎𝐈𝐂𝐄 ★ 𝐕𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐎 ★ 𝐓𝐄𝐗𝐓 ★ 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

Comments

[hexcrafter]

It isn't that--she is not difficult to look after, despite her size.

[Viktor shifted nervously, looking at Rio who blinked owlishly while largely ignoring Jayce despite letting him pet her.]

She lived with my acquaintance in the Undercity. I do not know the exact details, but she has some kind of...mutation. If it should still pose a problem, I do not know how to treat it.

[boyofprogress]

[Jayce leans down to press a kiss to the top of Vitkor's head, squeezing his shoulder firmly.] We'll figure it out, if it happens. I'm sure there's someone here who works with genetics, or biology.

She means a lot to you, so she means a lot to me, too. I'll help her in anyway I can.

[hexcrafter]

[Viktor leaned against his side, humming thoughtfully.]

...You're right. If I'm still fine, I do not see any reason the same would not apply to her.

[boyofprogress]

Exactly. [It's easy to wrap an arm around Viktor when he's leaning against him like this, so he does so, and happily.] And given that the boat house is pretty cozy, I think I'd know if you weren't fine. Or I'd hope you'd tell me.

[hexcrafter]

...still just the same. [He answered with a small, tired smile. Rio, meanwhile, tilted her head and thumped her tail on the deck, not unlike an irritated cat.] A little better than I have been the past few days, I think.

[boyofprogress]

[His hand stills on Rio's head, his full focus now on stroking Viktor's hair to help ground himself.] I got scared, that day in the kitchen. So it helps. Knowing that you're feeling better than you did that day.

[hexcrafter]

[Rio pressed into Viktor's side as if in reassurance as he slipped an arm around his partner's waist, sighing quietly.]

I am sorry for frightening you, and for being unable to say it will not happen again. I never said anything before, because...I did not want to give anyone more reason to pity me, least of all you.

[boyofprogress]

I never pitied you, Viktor. Not then, and certainly not now. I worry, certainly, but -- pity implies I think of you as lesser, which I don't. I couldn't.

[hexcrafter]

... [Viktor didn't answer right away, his other hand resting idly on Rio's back as she made a noise somewhere between trilling and purring.]

I know. And I do not want to see that change. I have kept things to myself because I can not stand the idea of anyone thinking I am some helpless, miserable thing. What little self-sufficience I still possess is something important to me, and I do not need you or anyone else thinking me utterly incapable.

[Viktor paused, a thought occurring to him for not the first time. He'd spoken of it on Jayce's first night here, but only briefly--the tangle of complicated emotions was one he didn't really want to navigate. And he definitely didn't want to think about who must have been the one to find him that night in the lab.]

...That being said...I acknowledge I should have been more honest with you a long time ago. Before it came to a matter of waking up in the hospital.

[boyofprogress]

Hey... [It takes a little effort, and there's a wince or two, but Jayce lowers himself to sit on the deck next to Viktor. Wanting to have this conversation on the same level as him, physically.] If I've ever done anything that made you feel incapable, I apologize. That's never been my intention.

I've only ever offered to help you because I feel helpless. Not because I think you are.

[hexcrafter]

...I know. [He reached out to put a hand on Jayce's leg, idly working out some tension in slow and precise motions.] Helping people is in your nature. I have never disliked your efforts, it is...simply a difficult thing to accept, for me.

[boyofprogress]

If it's too much, tell me. [Though what he means, what he feels, at times, is If I'm too much, tell me. Jayce Talis is a passionate person, and he feels things with his whole self. After a lifetime of being told to tone it down, he worries about overwhelming people.

He makes a quiet noise at the hand on his leg, laughing a little.] Honestly, I'm going to be relying on you a lot, while I get used to this. The brace, the cane or crutch if I end up with one. I want your help to update the brace, for sure.

[hexcrafter]

I would, if I found it too much. It is more a matter of...I just do not always know how to respond to it, and perhaps never have.

[The corner of Viktor's mouth twitched into a hint of a smile as Rio curled up behind him like a supportive amphibious cushion.]

...I do not mind that. We already designed mine together, so doing as much again will be easy. And...if you wanted to rely on me, I would like that as well.

[boyofprogress]

We have all the time in the world, for you to learn. For both of us to learn.

[Jayce lets out a quiet oof as Rio leaning against Viktor jostles them both, and he gives her tail a polite pat.] I know you said she's easy to care for, but I'll probably end up doing research about amphibians anyway. It's what I do, when I encounter something I'm unfamiliar with.

[hexcrafter]

...I suppose we could both benefit from a little research. I have a good idea of what she eats, but past that...well, I was only around nine or so at the time, so if I knew many further details I have surely forgotten as much.

[boyofprogress]

Once we get her settled, we could go over to the library, if you wanted? Make it a date. [With a smile, he kisses the end of Viktor's nose.]

[hexcrafter]

Stop that- [lightly shoving at Jayce's shoulder with a small smile.]

...I think that would be nice. First we will have to get your leg taken care of, and then we can approach the rest.

[boyofprogress]

I can't kiss my partner? Rio, can you believe that? No kissing allowed. [He gives the waverider a dramatic sigh and an eyeroll.]

Ah -- yes. We can get my leg looked at, first. Since we'll be doing some walking.

[hexcrafter]

[To which Rio, unamused, trilled with a wiggle of the scales running along her back.]

I am entirely serious, Jayce. You have been insistent upon my health for years, I should think it only right I am just as obnoxious.

[boyofprogress]

[He does somber at that a little, and presses a kiss to the top of Viktor's head in an attempt to reassure him.]

I know. And not being asked to join the rescue missions sort of drove that home for me. I need to take better care of myself, and my health. So I guess I can let you worry over me, while I adjust to this.

[hexcrafter]

I caution you that it will be frustrating--endlessly so, especially for someone like you who has known...comparatively few limitations up to now. But it will be alright. We are scientists; adjusting and adapting is in our nature.

[As cautiously as if he were testing limits, Viktor took one of Jayce's hands in both of his own.]

What I am trying to say is that...when you find those limitations as suddenly as crashing into a brick wall, you can allow yourself to be upset. Infuriated, with yourself or with the circumstances--it does not matter. I will be here, and I will understand.

[boyofprogress]

I promise I will. I'll try to remember all that, but I may need you to remind me, sometimes. [He watches their hands, instead of looking directly at Viktor, setting his other hand on top of them.]

I just also need you to remember that all the frustrations I feel with myself are never something I've felt towards you. The last thing I want is for you to see me angry and worry that that was the case.

[hexcrafter]

...I realize that. It is...different, when it is one's own problem. I would not-

[Viktor broke off that sentence and hesitated, like he wasn't sure he was prepared to be quite that open. His own eyes lowering but no less focused, he reluctantly continued:]

I would not consider you lesser for the things I despise about myself.

[boyofprogress]

[He could start again, listing all the things there are to love about Viktor. Lecture him about how he shouldn't despise himself like that, how there's nothing in him to hate.

But Viktor's heard all that from him before, and Jayce is starting to realize that repeating it isn't necessarily helpful. So instead, he presses a kiss to their joined hands.] Then we'll have to love each other enough to make up for all the things we hate about ourselves. Deal?

[hexcrafter]

[It would take more than repetition--this Viktor hadn't seen the definitive evidence within Jayce's memories, and as such could only assign those words the value they had on the surface. Which was to say that he knew they weren't a lie, merely that they were wrong. There was nothing of such value to be found when it came to Viktor himself, his failing and broken body an ashen frame of skin and bone. Imperfect, undesirable, weak.]

[He'd never been able to do anything but hate it, and that was not a perspective so easily swayed.]

...this, I can at least try.